Booze: Guest Review - White Ace Cider by Ell
Fellow blogger, Ell approached me a while ago and asked if he could do a booze review for me. I obliged. About a week later he came back to me and said "I know what I'm going to review". This is it...
The Great Northern Boozekill
The Great Northern Boozekill
White Ace - £1.69 from almost fucking any corner shop.
First of all, I would like to say that I had originally
planned to review White Lightning. But it was sold out. In all the shops in my
area.
I find this worrying.
Anyway, hi, I am Ell. I own and write for The Great Northern
Blogkill, but today I am lending my services to Sir Nathaniel. I awoke from my
slumber at the respectable hour of 6pm, still fatigued from the frivelous
festivities that I had taken part in so wholeheartedly. I removed my night-cap
and checked my pocketwatch, so as to decide what my agenda was for the day
ahead.
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Great Scott! My
Pocketwatch is broken!
|
Upon discovering that the sky had darkened and the gentleman
and ladies of Edinburgh town had settled in for the night, I realised I had
missed most of the day – so I dedicated my time to my studies on fine licquor.
A marvellous choice in activity, I find. I dressed for the occasion, going for
a shirt and waistocat combination, complemented by tweed trousers.
I donned my large winter coat and top hat, then braved the
weather outside. Tally-ho. I returned not half an hour later, with my prize
inside a blue plastic bag, courtesy of Mr Abdullah’s fine general store. I have
emerged with this concoction, White Ace, which I found to be rather intriquing.
Further research must be done!
I first consider the design. It is a lovely, cylindrical
bottle of a greenish hue. The label is adorably designed like a deck of cards,
with a spade, a heart, a club and a diamon on the front – surrounding the brand
name of WHITE ACE, in a plain but impactful font. The price is indicated in an
explosion of yellow, exclaiming its low price. Wonderful. The design certainly
reflects the class of such a beverage. Shall we take a sip? Let us embark upon
this adventure, a journey into the unknown.
I raise the glass to my lips, eager to experience the smooth
taste of this fine ‘White Cider’. It tastes like…
Oh god.
What is this?
Where am i?
This…must be stopped.
The whole world is at stake. I must stop it!
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BEGONE, FOUL DEMON |
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INTO THE FIRES OF
MOUNT DOOM
|
I returned to my home, in a blur of pain and anguish. I look
into the mirror, and see the terror in my face. Will this fear stick with me
forever? Shall Ibe plagued eternally by the memories of this night? As I lay
down in my bed, I close my eyes. Never to speak of this night again.
Well, wasn’t that fun? Thanks for reading guys, and please
check out my blogpage! The website is www.thegreatnorthernblogkill.com
and the facebook page is www.facebook.com/thegreatnorthernblogkill . If you are
so inclined, also follow me on twitter @TGNBK or on this new myspace malarky new.myspace.com/thegreatnorthernblogkill.
Thanks a lot guys!
-Ell
You didn't like it then?
ReplyDeleteMy palate is not quite accustomed to it, no :P
ReplyDelete-Ell