Beats: Eurovision Part Two

I’ll admit, I enjoyed reviewing part one of the Eurovision album, you can read it here if you missed it:

It also destroyed my soul, however, as most of the songs were so goddamn depressing. I’m hoping this isn’t the case with Disc Two.

Let’s find out...

Israel: Izabo – Time
Wow. This is funky, really funky! I want to dance to it. The lead singer has quite an awesome voice but I really  hate the backing singers in the chorus.

Iceland: Greta Salome & Jonsi – Never Forget
This track has a really nice atmosphere about it. Piano, violins, big drums and a bit of synth. Greta & Jonsi are really talented singers and have a great chemistry and really work well together. I really like this song. Yeah, it’s a love song but it doesn’t sound depressing. Top marks, Iceland.

Italy: Nina Zilli – L’Amore E Femmina (Out of Love)
Imagine an Italian version of Amy Winehouse. Well, that. I like it. My only issue, however, is that half the song is in English and the other half Italian... I can’t deal with that. Stick to one language please.

Lithuania: Donny Montell – Love Is Blind
Remember back on disc one where everyone had the same backing track? Well that. Yet again but then half way through the song the music changes to an electronic drum beat then some funky guitars which could be good but I really don’t like his singing voice, he sounds like he’s struggling.

Latvia: Anmary – Beautiful Song
Sounds funky and eastern European almost. The drums sound programmed and do not match the music. She has a really weird voice that I don’t like and it’s not because of her accent. I don’t like it but it’s catchy.

Moldova: Pasha Parfeny – Lautar
Very funky! It’s really upbeat and is making me smile. I really like this song! It’s making me smile! It’s sunny! Now, where’s my cocktail?

Monenegro: Rambo Amadeus – Euro Neuro
This is hilarious hip-hop in a Serbian accent! It’s amazing. This guy is phenomenal. It gets a bit funky half way through. I like this because it’s making me laugh! Amazing.

F.Y.R. Macedonia: Kaliopi – Crno E Belo
Again with the fucking pianos and sadness. I don’t understand what she’s singing but I bet it’s depressing. And It sounded like she just sang “lager”. Then it gets more upbeat with some electric guitars but she still sounds depressing but then she sounds like she’s cheering up. Stick to one emotion. She is a good singer though so I’ll give her that.

Malta: Kurt Calleja – This Is The Night
Dance music... straight up dance/club music and unsurprisingly the song is about love but it doesn’t sound depressing. I am not ashamed to say that I genuinely like this song. I would dance very badly to it in a club.

The Netherlands: Joan Franka – You and Me
Wow. Just wow. This is decent folk/country music. Awesome acoustic music and a really talented singer. I really fucking like this!

Norway: Tooji – Stay
This is club music at it’s best. Beefy beats. That’s about it though. Also, he sounds like a woman.

Portugal: Filipa Sousas – Vida Minha
This is Mediterranean music but not fast enough for me to enjoy it. Slow and depressing but then half way through come some dance beats which really don’t work. Stop confusing my ears.

Romania: Mandinga - Zaleilah
It starts off sounding what I can only describe as Romanian but that continues in a dance music fashion. I really hate the singer because she drags out notes for waaaaaaaaay too long.

Serbia: Zeljko Joksimovic – Nije Ljubav Stvar
Violins and pianos. It sounds so sad. This guy is a good singer but he should really cheer the fuck up.

Russia: Buranovskiye Babushki (Buranovo Grannies) – Party For Everybody
It’s a bunch of grannies singing about the fact that everybody should have a party. This is pure fucking Eurovision. How could anyone possibly hate this?

Sweden: Loreen – Euphoria
                It’s dance music. The kind that I imagine is in every single nightclub in Sweden. I don’t feel even slightly euphoric or even dizzy though so I kinda feel cheated.

Slovenia: Eva Boto – Verjamem
                It sounds so fucking sad. Like a lot of Eurovision songs, it seems. I’m not happy anymore.

Slovakia: Max Jason Mai – Don’t Close Your Eyes
He’s going for the heavy rock sound and I quite like it. Some good guitar-work and all round quite good, musically. I don’t mind his voice either. It’s actually quite refreshing to hear something that slightly resembles rock music.

San Marino: Valentina Monetta – The Social Network Song (Oh Oh – Uh – Oh Oh)
You’re singing about social networking. Fuck off. The fact that you had to change the lyrics of your song because Mark Zuckerberg was going to sue you because it was originally called the Facebook song is hilarious but still, fuck off. I don’t want to hear anyone sing about social networking ever.

Turkey: Can Bonomo – Love Me Back
This is awesome. I don’t know why. Maybe because it’s slightly pirate-y. Is there even such a thing as a Turkish pirate? Yeah, he’s singing about being a sailor but he’s actually a pirate. I don’t care. It’s cool.

Ukraine: Gaitana – Be My Guest
Trumpets and violins that don’t work together start off before it goes into a dance song. I’m not sure I’m into this one at all. No. I don’t like this.

To summarise disc two: It’s much, much better than disc one. It’s not all totally fucking depressing. Most of these songs are actually quite fun. And someone sings about social networking.

My favourite track on this would probably be The Netherlands’ Joan Franka.

So, that’s the end of Eurovision 2012. I’m quite disappointed that I didn’t have more bad things to say about the second disc but I suppose really, I expected it to be terrible.

That’s the thing with Eurovision. Everyone automatically expects every song to be terrible because it’s Eurovision.

What was your favourite track?

If you like Eurovision, I’d highly recommend buying the album.



  1. The only track I actually liked on this was Loreen – Euphoria and thats only because it's very trancy, can imagine this being quite a big seller on the dance scene. Although I listened to it once I keep singing it now. It would of got my vote.

    1. I wasn't convinced by it... it could be a big seller but I don't know. There were better dance-style tracks!


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