Booze: Are you leaving?

I encountered rudeness on Friday and being the pleasant person that I am, I don't like it.

I was in a pub having a quiet pre-train pint with my good friend Matt, just sitting there chatting about general things. We had almost finished our pints and had rolled a cigarette for the walk to the train station when this happened.

A lady walked up to me and said "I noticed that you're rolling a cigarette. Are you going out then coming back in or are you leaving?" I was shocked that someone would do that. I wouldn't dream of it. We were planning on swiftly finishing our pints (about a quarter left) but I thought 'You know what? I think I want to stay for a bit longer now' so I replied with "Nope. Not right now” even though we were planning on leaving soon.

I barely had time to take a sip of my wonderful Acorn Global IPA with its sweet, caramel maltiness and a long hop-bitter finish when another lady who appeared to be with the first lady came up to me and asked if I'm leaving. Really? Even if she wasn't with the original lady she had been staring at me long enough for it to click that we weren't intending on leaving right then as we would've done when the first lady asked.

Fair enough, we were sitting at a four-seater table when there were only two of us but it was literally the only empty table in the entire pub and like fuck were we going to sit outside in the rain. Had they asked to use the two remaining seats, I would've obliged. I always do. I mean, that happens all of the time - just Matt and I sitting alone at a table with more seats than we require and someone enquires about the remaining seats/can they join us. Sure. No problem. Sometimes we even manage to start conversations with them. It's fine.

After these two incidents I could see these people and more just staring at us, trying to make us feel uncomfortable so I thought 'Fuck it' and made sure that my delicious pint lasted an extra quarter of an hour. A bit twattish? Probably but I was in the pub on my day off having a pint with my mate before I went out of town for the night and I didn’t want to be disturbed.

Then, when we did eventually get up and go, an elderly couple who had sat at a table next to us that was full of used plates and pint glasses literally ran to take our recently vacant seats. We were barely stood up and they were already there. I mean, these were elderly. Basically, if they were wandering down a busy supermarket aisle, they'd be slower than a snail on heroin but in this case they could give Usain Bolt a run for his money.

I actually felt insulted at the audacity of pretty much asking me to leave so they could have my seat.

It's absolutely fucking absurd.

I had never encountered this before and was wondering; has this ever happened to you? How would you feel? How would you react?



  1. Ever been politely asked to move so a regular can sit in your spot?
    Its happened to us once, but the landlord was polite and apologetic, so we obligingly moved tables.

    Nowt as funny as folk!

    1. Not had that before either! I suppose, really, if a landlord wants to keep his regulars.. well... regular, that's fair enough as long as there are other seats in the pub for you to sit on and he's not casting you out onto the street!

  2. This really never happened to you before? I'm witness or am part of this all the time. If I'm somewhere busy and someone gets up and puts their coats on I ask if they are going so I can sit down. I wouldn't ask if they are just near the end of a pint or rolling a cig but I've been asked and seen others be asked loads of times. I have gotten up before to leave and people have ran over to get my seat and then I've just sat down again and got another pint in just to annoy them and then just before leaving offered the seats to someone else.

    1. Nope, that was literally the first time. They just stood there leering at us. It really was horrible.

      I just wouldn't ask if someone is leaving as I think it's incredibly rude!

  3. Hi Nate,

    Obviously a lot depends on how she asked her question, what tone of voice she used etc. Far better that she did ask than if you'd gone out for your ciggie (probably taking your jackets with you (a sign you're leaving)) and then you'd returned to find her in your seats!

    I have to play this game of the "spare seats" every working day on the train, and I now target the people who have their jackets/bags across the spare seat when asking. I get a kick out of their wounded faces when they look all agreived that someone has dared to suggest that they warrent the seat more than their rucksack.

    Still, as long as you keep it polite there should never be any need for nastiness!

    Cheers mate

    1. The tone of voice these people used was more like they were asking us to leave as opposed to asking if we're leaving which was my main problem!

      I can't stand bag seaters either. Overhead racks are for bags. I also hate it on trains when I'm sitting at a table seat alone as it's more convenient when writing and instead of asking if they can take one of the vacant seats, they just stare then reluctantly sit on a regular seat. This happened on Friday too.

  4. Im sure if you were a normal human being then maybe they would have wanted to sit next to you. Maybe they were asking if you were leaving because you were either a: lowering the standards of the pub, b:smelling the place out or c: your self righteousness was starting to make everybody else in the pub want to vomit.

    Anyway im imagining it was probably you to blame.

    love always The Troll xxx


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Beats: Album of the Month – August

Lidl Currywurst - A Review

Beats: God Seed – I Begin review